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Sunday, May 18, 2014

Watch Out, Here Comes Godzilla!

The new Godzilla movie came out Friday, so now a bunch of movie channels are playing a lot of the old ones. There was a bunch of  'em on this weekend, and I didn't really have anything to do but watch movies, so I watched a few. They were terrible, and everything looked SUPER fake, but I watched them anyway, probably because I've wanted to see them for a long time, since 3rd grade, but none of them are really on TV except for the crappy American one from 1998. That one was awful too, and the CGI in it was terrible, because that's all they used to make the monsters, and it looked like a cheap ripoff of Jurassic Park. This is basically how it goes: "Godzilla" attacks a city, and the government and whoever plays the main character try to stop him. I don't know who the main character was, but I COULD NOT STAND HIM! He really had no emotions and just stars into space the whole time. After awhile, he finds out that Godzila laid a bunch of eyes, and then there are a bunch of babies. The military blows up the place the babies were in(they did more damage to the city in the movie than Godzilla did), and Godzilla, who they thought they killed earlier, come back. He. Chases they people around the city for awhile and is killed. The CGI was horrible, and the movie was basically a terrible ripoff of Jurassic Park- Godzilla was the "T-Rex" of the movie and the babies would be he Velociraptors. If you ever see Godzilla from 1998 on the TV guide, don't bother clicking on it.
The other, "real" Godzilla movies that were on were bad, too, but it was really just the quality of them. Some of the ones I saw were Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla vs Spacegodzilla, Godzilla 2000, and a few others. They all pretty much went like this:
Someone- "oh no, it's Godzilla!!"
Japanese government: "Godzilla is heading toward Tokyo, please evacuate the city in a calm and orderly fashion."
*everyone starts running around Tokyo like idiots*
*Godzilla arrives in tokyo*
Godzilla- "rar!"
*some other monster comes*
*Godzilla and he monster fight in an epic battle, wih lots of explosions with flashing lights that have probably given someone a seizure before*
Godzilla kills the monster.
Some main character- " Godzilla just killed the monster"
Some other main character- "Oh no! He's destroying Tokyo! What do we do?!"
Some third character-"Lets kill him!"
Everybody else- "good idea!"
* they somehow kill Godzilla*
Someone- "yeah! Godzilla is dead!"
*a year later, Toho releases another Godzilla movie*
Someone- "oh no, it's Godzilla! He's back!"
*the process repeats itself*

So, there's my honest review of the Godzila movies. Nice job Toho! .(ha ha)

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